FML*

Guess what I just discovered? Blogspot.com will not allow its users to copy/paste text from one of their blog entries to another. Why is this relevant? Because I wrote what was supposed to be today's entry on the saved draft of another blog post. Make sense?

But now, when I make today's real post public, it says that I wrote it on April 14th, the day I wrote some other blog post that will never see the light of day. And that sucks, because that means if I want today's entry to appear at the top of our blog post archive, I'd have to retype the whole thing, and add pictures. AGAIN. Not to mention the crap I went through to get the spacing to work on that entry the first time.

Ugh.

Anyway, I've been at this computer for over three hours, so there's no way I'm typing that whole thing out again. You'll just have to deal with scrolling three entries down and reading today's post. It's titled "Hair."

Clarissa, learn something from me for once. Don't make the same mistake.

~Lily

*For the record, MLIA is better.

Magical World of Fiction

Hello my minions - I mean precious readers! Since you're here, and willing to read this, I might as well introduce you to some fantastic ways to waste your time. Yes, this means a book list. But this isn't just your average book list that was put together by some person working in a government building with no air conditioning, who thinks that young adults have the reading ability of an alpaca. No, this list was designed, sweated over, and subjected to cruel torture for the past three years.

Myth/Fantasy

Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series - Rick Riordan

Mortal Instruments - Cassandra Clare

Wicked Lovely Series - Mellisa Marr

The Heir Series - Cinda Williams

The Inheritance Cycle - Christopher Paolini

House of Night Series - Cast

The Demon King - Cinda Williams

Strange Angels Series - Lili St. Crow

The Iron King - Julie Kagawa

Now, these are just some myth/fantasy books that I really like. I don't want to give you the whole list because its rather long, and I don't want to shove it all down your throat all at once. Baby steps.

Also, Cassandra Clare is coming out with a new book called the Clockwork Angel. It's part of the Infernal Devieces series, which are the prequals to the Mortal Instruments. I hear it's going to be an AWESOME book, so please visit her website and check it out!

One more thing. If you are going to be reading this, you will realize that there will be some things you don't understand, like our bacon jokes. If you want to understand 90% of what we are saying, I suggest you read the Maximum Ride books by James Patterson. And, while you are at it, you might as well read Diary of a Lovesick Mutant on Fanfiction. I didn't know the meaning of the word "funny" until I read it. I still have nightmares.

Well, it's obvious you have some reading to do, so what are you still doing here reading our blog! Get going! But, if you have anything to say, or any questions about reading, books, or writing, please leave a comment. Blah, I feel like a freakin' professor giving a lecture...oh well, we all have our days.

~Clarissa

Libraries

There are a lot of things in this world I* like. For instance, tacos. Tacos are like the Zeus of Food Olympus. You just can't get any awesomer. I also like cats. And trampolines. And crayons. All of these things I find acceptable. But one of the things I like best is a LIBRARY.

Honestly, what's not to like about a library? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that the people who don't like libraries are the same people who use the souls of puppies to power their cars. Or they have a genetic disorder. (However, despite my use of the word 'awesomer' in that first paragraph, I am a self-proclaimed writer, so maybe I'm just a tiny bit biased. But really. Going to the library is like a visit to the bookstore. Except all of the books are FREE. I drool just thinking about it.)

I have been visiting these places of reading wonder all week now. Here's a tiny peek at the abundant reading materials I have conjured:

Paper Towns, John Green
Can't tell you much about it, but I know there's a dead person in the prologue. Fascinating. (Side note: I love John Green's books. Will Grayson, Will Grayson was superb.)

Before I Die, Jenny Downham
I'm going through a phase where I want to read books with character death. Hopefully this will fill my quota. If not, I can always start on my untouched copy of Thirteen Reasons Why.

Grave Sight, Charlaine Harris
I think I started reading this once and didn't like it, but the cover is different than I remember, so I don't trust myself. It's about a lady who sees dead people. Kind of sounds like a grown-up version of the Mediator series. But don't hold me to that.

And I am Currently Reading:

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

Here's the gist of it so far: Nora is a normal teenager, besides being anemic. Her biology partner is Patch, a dark, mysterious stud who Nora can't help being attracted to. From the second Nora meets Patch, weird things start to happen to her (Example: she picks up a stalker. Objects disappear before her eyes. She discovers that her older sister is a man.**)

Last week, both Clarissa and a friend who I will from now on refer to as Angie shoved this book into my hands quite forcefully, blathering about how much she loved it and it's amazing, and by the way, Patch is hotter than the sun. (But reading a couple of chapters into it, it became evident that he's a TOTAL CREEPER. Example: The Bio teacher asks him what attributes he looks for in a mate, and he purposely describes Nora, who's sitting right next to him. Plus, he breathes on her. A lot. SCARY.***)

I'm about halfway through Hush, Hush now, and although the leading male is not for my taste (so far), I'm certainly enjoying it. It's got a certain misty appeal, and parts of it are hilarious, especially the scenes with Nora's best friend, Vee. Most likely, I'll be reading the second one when it comes out.

Clarissa and Angie will probably kill me if I don't.

*Commonly known as Lily

**Just kidding.

***But it's all cool because he's a fallen angel.

Hair

"You are hungry," my brain told me as I watched the latest episode of 10 Things I Hate About You. "You want to get a snack."

I sat up suddenly. "I am hungry," I said aloud. My cat looked at me strangely, probably wondering who I was talking to. "I'm going to get a snack."

It was then, as I dug through the cupboard in search of some crackers, that several neurons in my head fired at once, and I remembered:

The blog.

"Oh, @#$&%!" I yelled, though this was not from the fact that I had neglected to tell Clarissa to update, but because someone had put an empty box of Cheese-Its back into the cabinent. Kitty glared at me from his bed.

Kitty does not approve of naughty language.

"I already did," was Clarissa's reply to a hastily sent email telling her she needed to update this thing. And she wasn't even lying. She had updated the blog. TEN DAYS AGO. Without telling me.

Obviously, this is completely unfair. "You were supposed to be a team," the evil part of my brain told me. "You told her when you updated, and she doesn't even bother to repay the favor? Kill her."

"That seems a little extreme," I reasoned. "I don't always tell her when I'm going to spend the night in her bathtub, and she's never complained about it. Except for that time she found out. Plus, her hair was cute today."

Dear readers, let me just take an aside from our story to give you the low-down on Claire-bear's hair:

It's fabulous.

And I'm not talking permed and colored fabulous. I'm talking, you're either born with it or you crave it forever fabulous. And let me tell you, our Claire was born with it. How does that saying go? "If you got it, flaunt it."

This, however, is exactly the opposite of what my lovely friend does. Instead, she decides to hide her luxurious curls by wearing a swim cap under a fisherman's hat under a hood at all times. Except for today, when she freed her amazing natural curls, making Sarah Jessica Parker weep with envy.

Go cry.

Obviously, I could not execute someone with hair like hers.

Luckily, this was about the time that my good friend Francisco called, saving me from the dilemma.

"We're going to buy an ice cream truck," he informed me. "We are going to paint it bright orange with black flames and drive around as it plays 'Pop Goes the Weasel.' In fact, we are going to take a road trip in it." I cheerfully agreed to this idea before I realized that if I was googling icecream truck decorations, I wouldn't have time to yell at Claire for whatever I had been angry about before I'd been distracted by the idea of an icecream road trip.

But hey, at least I found this cool bumpersticker:

**BLOG UPDATE**: I just read the above entry and realized I need serious help. That is all.

~Lily

The Real Introduction that's not Fake

Hello, this is Clarissa. Remind me to kill Lily for her "Introduction" later. (Seriously, I can do that. Not only do I know three different ways to get to her house, but I'm also a NCIS addict, so I know 30 different ways to kill someone without leaving any Forensic evidence. Don't believe me, and you obviouly haven't seen the show. (Lily says that last part makes me sound like a serial killer, but don't worry. I'm all about smiley faces and hugging kittens.))

So You may be asking: What is this blog going to be about? Well, this blog is for the exceptionally awkward, totally awesome and partially psychotic people that can only be defined as...nerds. That's right, I'm talking about you: readers, writers and people who edit Wikipedia for fun. It will consist of:

-rants
-book talk
-utter nonsense
-biblical wisdom
-not really

A little more about us: "According to Plan" is written by me (Clarissa) and my friend Lily. It's a nice balance; she's on the brink of insanity, and I'm, well... not going to be a hobo when I grow up. We were brought together by our tales of woe, hatred of bad grammar, and unhealthy obsession with fictional men. We're just trying to give back to the virtual community by taking up unnecessary megabytes.

Honestly,we're not really expecting any readers. (If you're reading this: good for you! You know you're wasting your time, right?) But hey, this is mostly to entertain our friends anyway. (Or in Lily's case, herself. The poor pathetic soul.) So... here's to the beginning?

We'll see.

Ok, I need to go restock on chocolate.

~Clarissa

Introduction to the World

Hello, this is the creator/genius of this blog.

Let me tell you about my line of work. I'm actually a professional person who puts the caps on toothpaste. No kidding. It's pretty awesome, and I only work part time. The benefits are so great that I don't even mind being homeless!

Okay, so that was a lie. But that's okay. If you were looking for something to read that brings an extraordinary truth front and center, then you wouldn't be looking at this brain candy. Because that's really all this blog is. Brain Candy. (In fact, we almost named it that. But we didn't want this blog to be mistaken for a porn site. JK.)

Anyway, this blog is going to be about pretty much whatever I feel like typing. Don't say I didn't warn you.

And that, my dears, was the introduction. I hope I just wasted at least three minutes of your time.

-The Blue Ninja